So any of you who are keeping a keen eye on the calendar or have been to the shops & seen the decorations and over priced plastic trees know christmas time is coming up.

So if any of you have to bake a christmas cake i suggest you check http://humour.200ok.com.au/xmas_cake.html

that.

Good afternoon everyone.  I dont have alot to update .. so heres a picture of a sticktape saying w00t

With a hangover like this I think things are only bound to pick up this year.. Hope ya'll had a good nye

Current Mood: Hungover

Q: What do elves learn in school?

A: The Elf-abet!

Q: What's the most popular wine at Christmas?
A: "I don't like sprouts" !

Q: If athletes get athletes foot, what do astronauts get?
A: Missletoe!

Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
A: Frostbite.

Q: Why was Santa's little helper depressed?
A: Because he had low elf esteem.

Q: Why does Santa have 3 gardens?
A: So he can ho-ho-ho.

Q: Where do polar bears vote?
A: The North Poll.

Q: What do you get when you cross an archer with a gift-wrapper?
A: Ribbon hood.

Q: Why do birds fly south for the winter ?
A: Because it's to far to walk.

Q: What was wrong with the boy's brand new toy electric train set he received for Christmas?
A: Forty feet of track - all straight!

Q: What kind of bird can write?
A: A PENguin.

Q: How does Al Gore's household keep Christmas politically correct?
A: On Christmas morning, they give the presents TO the tree.

Q: What do you call a cat on the beach at Christmas time?
A: Sandy Claus!

Q: How do sheep in Mexico say Merry Christmas?
A: Fleece Navidad!

Q: What nationality is Santa Claus?
A: North Polish.

Q: Why does Santa's sled get such good mileage?
A: Because it has long-distance runners on each side.

Q: What do you call a bunch of grandmasters of chess bragging about their games in a hotel lobby?
A: Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer!

Q: What do you get if you deep fry Santa Claus?
A: Crisp Cringle.

Q: What did the ghosts say to Santa Claus?
A: We'll have a boo Christmas without you.

Q: What did Santa shout to his toys on Christmas Eve?
A: Okay everyone, sack time!!

Q: What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
A: Snowflakes.

Q: If Santa Claus and Mrs. Claus had a child, what would he be called?
A: A subordinate claus.

Q: Why did the elf push his bed into the fireplace?
A: He wanted to sleep like a log.

Q: Why did Santa spell Christmas N-O-E?
A: Because the angel had said, "No L!"

Q: What goes Ho, Ho, Swoosh, Ho, Ho, Swoosh?
A: Santa caught in a revolving door!

Q: Why does Santa Claus go down the chimney on Christmas Eve?
A: Because it " soots " him!

Q: What do you do if Santa gets stuck in your chimney?
A: Pour Santa flush on him.

Q: Did you hear that one of Santa's reindeer now works for Proctor and Gambel?
A: Its true . . . Comet cleans sinks!

Q: What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?
A: Claustrophobic.

Q: Why does Scrooge love Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer?
A: Because every buck is dear to him.

Q: How come you never hear anything about the 10th reindeer "Olive" ?
A: Yeah, you know, "Olive the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names"

Q: Why did the little girl change her mind about buying her grandmother a packet of handkerchiefs for Christmas?Q: Olive ?
A: Yeah, you know, "Olive the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names"

Q: Why is Christmas just like a day at the office?
A: You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.

Q: Olive?
A: Yeah, you know, "Olive the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names"

Q: What was so good about he neurotic doll the girl was given for Christmas?
A: It was wound up already.

Q: What's a good holiday tip?
A: Never catch snowflakes with your tongue until all the birds have gone south for the winter.

i just want to say
I <3 U

clickity click

miner big mac   is here and he wants to announce taht he isi hot for me

Ok so now i have your attention i'll be doing a friends cut. 

Now i just got one of thoese schwepes natural mineral water (lemon & lime flavour)  now im wondering does anyone know if  mineral water is just a fancy term for bore water?

Now we all saw how good i was keeping a chicken alive so i was thinking i would get another one but i would get a bunny too for like protection.  Is this a good idea?

argh i tried fixing it and its getting worse and worse and worse :( *cry cry cry* anyway i got tagged by kylie List seven songs you are into right now. No matter what the genre, whether they have words, or even if they're not any good, but they must be songs you're really enjoying now. Post these instructions in your livejournal along with your 7 songs. Then tag 7 other people to see what they're listening to. 1. Hilltop hoods - Nosebleed Section 2. Matchbox 20 - Real world 3. Me fist and the gimme gimmes - Rocketman 4. Michael Franti & Spearhead - Everyone Deserves Music 5. The Whitlams - Charlie No.1 6. .38 Special - So Caught up in you 7. Butterfingers - Happy well adjusted Psychopath And I tag... you

Does anyone know where i put my car keys down?

also is anything happening tonight?

1) Describe me in one word 
2) Post this on your journal so you can see what i'd say about you =)

A DEER LICKED MY SHOE TOdaY!
and then i used some xxxlarge and xxxsmall font.